Confronting the door with its familiarity,
faded red paint where the summer sun
reached bleached with insistent persistence,
a touch of softened paint where fingers trailed
as they absentmindedly drew the door close, 

vague signs of habitation, to enter is as ever, 

habitual, uneventful, as when you lived here,
but to return after so long requires knocking
or some symbol of invitation seeking, after all
time has passed and change is a given, taking
things for granted might not, will not work, the
smell of death and unsorted clothing, effects,
papers private and other, you who were not here
for the mourning, funeral, committing of ashes,
abrogation some would say if asked, are they
impressions of where he sat on that seat near
the fireplace where he flicked his butts, threw
his buts and maybes at requests, and when
love and support and softness were hinted at,
could not be requested, seeking was a sign of
weakness letting down the team, persona non
grata, an unwelcome guest interloper. He made
you seek forgiveness absolution just to darken
the doorway, and now you arrive the place is
empty of heart and soul not even the idle bumping
of vital organs, even the refrigerator is empty of
relevant victuals, kept alive by a pulse from
a sleeping power provider, is the fridge talking, 

the spider webs extinct during her reign,

have now darkened corners, made grey the
shadows not cast since she parted, leaving him
bitter as cud, until he too relaxed his tight grip on
what was left, what had never been, now all just 

a Havisham memory, better to leave the door ajar,
still in need of oil, his way of knowing you were
arriving even though he could smell diffidence
that had replaced fear, maybe a dropped match
might smoke out his lingering presence and all
the stuff that attends departure, a sign to neighbours
as in smoke signal, that leave-taking was finally
manifest on this bleak landscape breakaway,
rocks bared, barren bland grimace of country, stolen
from people who had only ever known this place
of bad spirits as to be avoided with its evil karma,
spoken in their words ways of knowing sensing.